Illustration by Jan A. Igoe
When I was half of a couple, I couldn’t even bring a hamster home without a battle. So if you are a married woman who rescues horses and the occasional water buffalo, I’m impressed. That’s why Shishana Rourke from Texas is my new hero.
Ever since discovering Hank, the friendly water buffalo, on Facebook, I’ve joined the 371,000 fans who follow his adventures. Shishana wasn’t exactly looking for a water buffalo when she rescued the malnourished baby from a kill pen, but she’s addicted to needy creatures.
If I ever tried to get a water buffalo past my ex, it would require elaborate subterfuge. I’d probably spring it on him when his team was vying for a playoff spot while he coached from his recliner.
Me: Honey, can we get another dog?
Him: Absolutely not. Don’t fumble, you idiot! No more dogs.
Me: How about a cat?
Him: You’re allergic to cats. OMG! They’re on the 10-yard line!
Me: Maybe just a water buffalo, then?
Him: Yeah, a water … Another flag on the play?! Is that a fish?
Me: Just a small one.
Him: OK, get the fish. And the idiot fumbles again! But I’m not walking it.
Me: Thanks, sweetie. You’re the best.
Him: Yes, I am.
That was my guess on how Shishana went about adopting Hank, but it turns out Hank came into her life before the husband did. She made sure his vows declared that he would love her and every wayward critter she brought home—until death (perhaps by trampling) do them part. So far, the only animal he’s flatly refused is a guinea pig.
“After a couple glasses of wine, my friends go shop on Amazon,” Shishana says. “I go online and buy a zebra.”
Shishana, who has 21 siblings, was adopted from the West Indies and grew up in Alaska, where the trick is not being eaten by a bear or trampled by a moose while you’re skateboarding. Home-schooled, she finished class before noon and spent the rest of the day riding her horse.
The night I spoke to her, several enormous, well-meaning creatures accidentally landed her in the hospital. Getting knocked around comes with the territory, but being almost eight months pregnant, she decided to get checked out. She’s already chasing a 14-month-old toddler around when she’s not catering to a 1,600-pound water buffalo.
“Hank’s ideal day would be lying on his back getting his belly scratched, but occasionally he gets the zoomies and takes out a fence,” she says.
Hank realized that steel livestock panels are more fun when you crumple them into a ball to toss around with your horns, Shishana explains. “He’s very precise with those horns. He hooks the lip of his water trough, flips it over and destroys that, too.”
Hank’s favorite spot is his mud pit, which he’s more than happy to share. He loves shaking the mud off on guests. “It’s the highlight of his day,” Shishana says. “Especially when he gets you in the face.”
Shishana always intended to get Hank healthy and find him a new home, but somehow, he never left. Now he has a baby sister, Tilly. Weighing 75 pounds at five days old, Tilly arrived home in the passenger seat of Shishana’s truck.
She does have some advice for prospective water buffalo parents, in case the kids are anything like Hank. “They only run when something’s chasing them or you made them mad,” she says. “Either way, you better run, too.”
Jan A. Igoe nominates Shishana Rourke for Woman of the Year. Follow The Adventures of Shishana Rourke on Facebook to learn how you can adopt enormous creatures (check with your HOA first) or at least feel better about having too many dogs. Share your wild adventures at HumorMe@SCLiving.coop.