A few over par
By Margaret B. Davidson
Phil approaches the first tee with confidence.
“Stand behind me, Maggie,” he says. “You need to watch where this is headed.”
I dutifully stand behind him and watch as, with picture perfect form, he takes a few practice swings. “I’m gonna hit this little sucker right onto the green,” he announces. He swings. A clod of earth goes flying a foot in the air, and the ball dribbles off the tee.
“Damn it! I lifted my head.”
He repositions himself and goes for it again. This time he really cracks that thing. It goes soaring way out, and to the right. I lose track of its trajectory and miss the landing.
“Boy, did you see that? I really hit that one! That was a great drive! Where did it land? It must have made the green.”
“I lost it,” I think it went right—probably into those woods.”
“No, I hit that one straight, I know I did.”
Now it’s my turn. It takes me five strokes to reach the point where Phil’s ball has entered the woods. We spend ten minutes hunting for his ball. We find four others, but not his.
“I think you’d better take a drop, Phil. There are people right on our tail.”
“There’s too much trouble on this course,” grumbles Phil. “That was a great drive, and now I have to take a drop.”
He manages to get on the green with his next shot. Unfortunately, it takes him four putts to actually get the ball into the hole.
“I need a lesson on my short game,” he grouses.
I achieve the green after five more shots from the fairway. Since that’s already a total of ten shots, I don’t bother with the putting.
“What did you get?” asks Phil.
“Ten, with a circle. Do we have to keep score?”
“I got a six,” Phil says, marking his card. “Would have been four if I’d putted better. Should have been a par.”
“Did you count the drop?”
“Yes, of course I did.” He stares back at the fairway trying to recalculate the number of shots he’s taken.
At the next tee Phil tried again to hit the cover off the ball. Once more it goes to the right, and there is a resounding crack in the distance.
“Think I hit a tree.”
“I think so too, dear. If you stand a little closer to the ball, maybe it won’t go so wide.” My advice doesn’t receive the appreciation it deserves.
This time we find the ball, but the lie is bad and he’s obliged to make several attempts before he can get it out of the rough. He could take another drop, but refuses to do so. The group behind is beginning to look threatening.
“Should we let them play through?” I ask.
“No, we’ll be here all day if we keep letting people play through.”
At tee number three Phil practically cracks a sturdy old Oak in half but, luckily, this time his ball ricochets back onto the fairway. Again he makes the green in two, but this only leads to more venting about his need for putting lessons, and the advantages to be gained by owning a more accurate putter. He’s having a rotten time, I think.
At the next tee the three guys behind ask if they may play through. Phil glares and says,
“Where do you think you’re going? There are people in front of us too you know!”
It looks like things might turn nasty, but fortunately Phil responds to my pleading look and grudgingly accedes to the request.
The rest of the afternoon is spent with whining about such things as slices, hooks, bad putting, and the fact that the course isn’t laid out properly. Phil’s ball makes contact with at least a dozen trees that day, and he loses several in various bodies of water along the way. He must be really fed up, I decide.
During the drive home Phil gloats, “I played pretty well today, all in all. I’m really glad we’re doing this. Which course do you want to play tomorrow? Maybe we should go away on a golfing vacation.”
I realize he has sun-stroke. Oblivious to my bemused expression, Phil grins and says, “Honey, I’m so glad we both enjoy this sport. I’m always the happiest when we’re doing things together.”
“Yeah,” I say, “we’ll give it another go tomorrow.”
Men's Golf
By Al Jasper
Each morning round starts out like a good golf day.
Later, you wish you'd stayed home or still want to play.
Ever wonder why you torture yourself with this game?
Knowing you can play better, but you still hit it the same.
Is it the challenge for score that keeps your attention?
Is it your pride or something else to mention?
Like Tuesday's Senior Men's golf game,
Nothing too spectacular, much the same.
Well, deciding to keep more than the score,
Mark down sandies, greenies, fairways and more.
Keep your head down, make a good swing, stroke the ball,
Maybe they'll fly well and everyone will be in awe.
At the first a par and then second, now they're two,
Missed the green on three, next into the sand it flew.
Beside the green in the bunker it now lay,
Knowing for that short chip, now, I must pay.
Blast the sand, up to the green it did rise,
Near the hole, putted it in, a nice surprise.
Par five, number four, the fairway was hit,
In the middle, up the hill just a bit.
From there was hit a medal three.
Taylor made 7, a new club, a CGB.
Away seventy yards, chipped short, hit it thin,
Into the sand it flew, boggie again.
Looking at the card, two over, not bad, it did seem,
After 4 holes, 2 in sand, 2 in fairway, 2 on the green.
The next four holes were at bit of a blunder,
One par, rest boggies, but on nine, one under.
Front 9 was finished, the score was forty,
7 fairways, 3 greens, 17 putts, a birdie.
A new nine, ah ha, maybe this will do,
Hit more greens and make a bird or two.
On the green on ten, there's hope so far.
Score a greenie, and 2 putts, and a par.
Next a long dogleg left, looked good from the tee,
Flying around far corner, yards left were ninety.
Ah, a fairway, good 2nd, two putt, that would be that.
But the green was missed, all because the 2nd shot was fat.
This game is only fun, when it can be well done.
Now to save this par, the putt can be only one.
Chip it close below the hole, just like “seen on TV.”
Followed the plan, onto the green short of the hole it ran.
Great save of a par-shots; one bad, three good.
Checking the card, on the back, even par I stood.
Next number twelve, a birdie hole, well it could be.
Just drive it in the middle and don't hit a tree.
Good drive, two hundred from where it stood.
Fine drive, if the 3 CGB was hit the best it could,
Slight draw, up onto the green, fired the ball like a gun,
Darn it, no, hit short and up the hill the ball did not run.
On in three, putt the bird, missed it, how absurd,
Par, getting in the GROOVE, now that’s the WORD.
Even par after three, is this the guy that played the front nine?
Yep, same guy, same old grind, golf is fun this time.
Easy hole thirteen, on the card, handicap 18 they say,
But, hit the fairway trap or the trees on the left, you'll pay.
Into the wind, up in the air the long drive flies.
Sixty yards out, just can't believe my eyes.
Run a low iron or will a lofty wedge do better.
Think safe, run the eight, made bird, ONE hot putter.
1 under on the back, okay, one shot at time, in the moment stay.
Remember fourteen is a tough old hole long and uphill all the way.
Into the wind again, how does this course do that anyways?
Seems no matter which way you go, into your face it stays.
Toed the driver to the 145 yard maker, but it was the best,
Then uphill, left of the green the white ball came to rest.
Remember when that shot would roll off that bank onto the green,
But, since a course make-over, that hill stops the ball, it does seem.
Now, it’s tough to get a club though the grass and hit it right.
Seems the choices are either too long or too short, what a plight.
Guess I chose to be short, barely onto the green it went for three,
If a par was to be made it would be up to that hot putter and me.
Well the putter missed of course, it wasn't me, score a five.
Boggie, back to even, one shot at a time wasn't a lie.
Can't let up now for a good score from here, remember,
It helps our team score over our magic 100 number.
Another fairway and fat second, another boggie was carded.
Looks like its going bad again, back to where I started.
Two over on the back, 6 on the day with 3 to play.
Drive on the par five got us out there, that's the way.
From the right, over the hill, short of the green it did land,
What a shot, flying nice and high, missing the sand.
Thirty to the pin, can I use the eight again, this time?
Chipped it close, made the putt, now all is fine.
So far on the back, 4 greens in regulation, 6 fairways, 11 putts carded.
2 to go, a par 3 and my nemeses 18, we’ll be back to where we started.
Don't know why 17 is so hard for me to hit and stay on top.
One of 2 clubs, which one today, facing into the wind again, does it ever stop?
Okay, will it be the seven iron or eight, which one do I take?
Hit it short on the right, ran the eight, a play I can make.
On in 3, missed the putt, made a 4, 1 over is the back score.
Here we go to 18, 1 to go, just make a par and hopefully no more.
Missed the traps on the left, onto the fairway middle, that's good,
100 to the pin, wind into the face again, from where we stood.
Long or short, that seems to be how to play this 18th hole.
Short or long, can't seem to get it right to save my soul.
Took an extra club for the up hill and against the wind.
Hit it high and it looked good, but it's over the green again
One shot at a time, right? This one took too much flight.
How does it happen, just can't seem to get that shot right.
Gnarly grass, grabs your club, balls come up short of the green,
You all have done it a time or two, so you know what I mean.
This time it was right, hit the green and ran past the flag.
On in 3, could I make the putt, or should the ball I lag?
Okay one shot at a time, so make the putt you fool.
Made it, one over on the back, now that was KOOL!
40 front, 37 back, 77 on the day, way to play.
2 sands, 7 greens, 15 fairways, 31 putts, today.
The team score was good, over our quota by 5,
Shake hands, say “enjoyed it,” take the card inside.
All teams were in but one, true but not funny.
We're middle of the pack and out of the money.
All 4 of us had a good time and the golf was okay,
Gave it our best, now home to rest, back again Thursday.
We'll start wondering again, will it be a good golf day.
Will we be sad or glad, we came out to play.
Then after the round we’ll come inside,
Look at the scores and swell with pride.
Remembering “we all can play better, too.”
It just seems like “we never do.”
_____
Making the rounds Read more
Bonus destinations in Rock Hill, Santee Cooper Country and the Pee Dee Read more
A complete directory of all courses listed Read more
Tommy Gainey: Playing to win Read more
WEB EXTRA: Clubhouse confessions Read more