A chat with Cassandra King Conroy

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Cassandra King was leading a quiet life as a teacher and novelist in her beloved “L.A.” (Lower Alabama) when she met one of the legendary figures of Southern literature: Pat Conroy. Their two-year friendship blossomed into a long-distance relationship, and they ultimately married, ending his long commutes from coastal South Carolina to her native Alabama. It was a unique union of two writers that would last 18 years, until the literary icon’s death from pancreatic cancer in 2016.

In Tell Me a Story: My Life with Pat Conroy, the woman he called “King Ray” looks back at her love affair with a natural-born storyteller whose lust for life was fueled by a passion for literature, food and the Carolina Lowcountry that he called home. As she reflects on their relationship and the years they spent together, Cassandra King Conroy reveals how the marshlands of South Carolina ultimately cast their spell on her, too, and how she came to understand the convivial, generous, funny, and wounded flesh-and-blood man beneath the legend—her husband, the original “Prince of Tides.”

Filled with touching stories about their many years together, Tell Me a Story: My Life with Pat Conroy gives readers an intimate look at what Pat was like as a regular man and husband, as told by the woman who knew him best. We caught up with Cassandra during her extensive book tour.

Thanks so much for chatting with us during your busy book tour. So, what’s the story behind the phrase, “Tell me a story?”

I’ve never known anyone as in love with story as Pat. He could draw a story out of anyone, and invariably did, first time he met you. Even as he signed a book for a reader, he’d ask “Tell me who you are and where you came from. What’s your story?” Not only that, he was a fabulous storyteller, both as a speaker and as a writer. I never considered any other title for the book. I knew it had to be “Tell Me a Story."

What motivated you to write this book?

I wanted to share with readers the man I knew as a dear friend and loving husband, outside his public persona of literary icon. After losing someone we love, I think we want to relive our time together, to honor our loved ones through our stories. A lot has been written about Pat throughout his career, and a lot about him after his death. Some of it bears no resemblance to the kind, warm and generous person I knew him to be; other material tends to idealize him. Some articles or books were written to settle old scores, others to remember him fondly. I had no agenda in writing the book. I’m a writer, and writing is the way I express myself. My motivation? To tell our story.

Many have called it a love story as well, right?

In my view, it’s primarily a love story. It’s about two people who meet at a time in their lives when they’re certainly not looking to get involved in a relationship. Instead they become friends, friends who eventually fall in love. But it doesn’t end well. It’s a love story, but it’s also a story of loss.

Why do you think Pat loved South Carolina’s Lowcountry so much?

Pat said he latched onto South Carolina as a home because he’d never stayed long enough in any one place as a child to call it home. Then as a teenager, he landed in one of the most beautiful places on the planet, the Lowcountry. He was a writer and a poet long before he became known as either, and he was immediately drawn into the mystique of the area, the astonishing beauty and fascinating history. Through his writing, he had the gift to make it come alive for others. 

And, we understand you’re an Alabama native (and diehard Crimson Tide fan). Do you cheer for Clemson when they’re not playing Alabama?

Because I have some really good Clemson friends (though don’t tell my Alabama or Gamecock families!), I cheer for Clemson when they’re not playing an SEC team. That’s about as neutral as I can go.

You also fell in love with the Palmetto State when you fell in love with Pat, right?

Oh, absolutely. Maybe they became intermingled in my mind. I said in the memoir that I’d been to the Lowcountry before my first visit to Fripp Island, but I’d never seen it with the “Prince of Tides.” And I absolutely fell under the spell. Other than no-see-‘ums and mosquitoes, what’s not to love about the Lowcountry? 

What were a few of your favorite meals to cook at home?

Pat and I used to cook together, mostly when we entertained. I try to cook Southern food, but make it healthy and use local ingredients. My favorite way to cook is to go to the Port Royal Farmers Market [and] load up on veggies, shrimp, and whatever else is in season. Then I spend the afternoon cooking for the weekend. It might be boiled shrimp, green beans or field peas, new potatoes, squash. Dessert would be a blueberry, blackberry or peach cobbler. You can’t eat any better than that. 

What’s one thing that people wouldn’t know about Pat?

I’ve literally never known anyone as brilliant as Pat (and he truly was) who was as absentminded. He lost everything, every day—his keys, reading glasses, pen, coffee cup. I can’t tell you the times I’ve stopped him at the door as he headed out to give a talk or whatever. “Hold on, Pat,” I’d say, “your shirt’s inside out.”  Or sometimes, “You have on one black shoe and one brown.” I mean, the man needed a keeper. 

What’s one thing that people wouldn’t know about you?

In the memoir I reveal that I used to read the tarot cards. Still do, actually. I’m a believer in seances and ESP and all that other kind of mumbo-jumbo stuff.

What’s next for you? 

I have a couple of projects in the works. I’ve been working on a cookbook for a while that I want to finish, and I’ve started another book of fiction. Now, I’ve got to settle down from touring and get back to writing.

Tell Me a Story: My Life with Pat Conroy, Cassandra King Conroy’s 400-page memoir, is available now in hardback format from publisher Harper Collins.

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