Sending a message
Members of the Shaw Spouses’ Club show off their hand-painted welcome signs. From left to right: Christy Gant, Brandee Jurgens, Lisa Strickland, Alysha Gilbert and Kristy Ishmael.
Photo courtesy of Shaw Spouses’ Club
For many families, summer means a break from school and work, lazy days spent on the water, and fun in the sun. For military families, however, summer often means packing boxes, saying goodbye to friends, and relocating somewhere new. Known in military lingo as PCS (Permanent Change of Station), these changes are anything but permanent.
Moving is rated as one of life’s most stressful activities, and America’s military families move an average of once every three years, putting them in a nearly constant state of transition and change. According to a 2017 survey by Blue Star Families, a support organization for our armed forces, 51 percent of the men and women in uniform indicated they did not feel a sense of belonging within their local civilian community.
Establishing community bonds is difficult when a family spends so little time in one place, and it helps to have trusted shepherds who can ease individual military families into their new surroundings and boost the overall morale of our nation’s armed forces.
Groups like the Shaw Spouses’ Club in Sumter help fill that need. Open to spouses of active and retired military from all branches, this private organization formed to help smooth the transition for incoming families at Shaw Air Force Base. Volunteers provide helpful information about local schools and shops, parks and pediatricians, and offer a sympathetic ear since they’ve been through similar life changes, says Kristen Thoennes, president of Shaw Spouses’ Club.
“A huge challenge with military families is connecting with others in a new place,” she says. “It can be scary to put yourself out there to start the process of finding new friends.”
The group offers regular social activities and volunteer opportunities for newly arrived military families and spouses, Thoennes says.
“Last year we had the opportunity to volunteer at the Porches of Sumter, an annual event that invites people to walk from front porch to porch, mingling with homeowners and sampling food,” she says. “This is a hugely popular event in town and gave us a chance to meet folks in the community and build relationships with them.”
The mobile lifestyle required of military families means that local support networks have to be rebuilt with each move. When local communities are ready to meet new arrivals partway, that makes the process much easier.
“We are blessed here in Sumter with a great community that supports the base and military families,” Thoennes says. “Some of the local churches offer a Parents’ Night Out, which is a big blessing to military families.”
Thoennes notes that some military families have the added challenge of living in areas removed from the support structure of a base.
“In those non-base communities, civilian families don’t always understand the military lifestyle,” she says. “Even though we may only live in an area for a couple years, we want to jump right into friendships because we don't want to lose any time. We want to get out and experience the local area and enjoy it to the fullest.”
The most helpful thing civilians can do? “Welcome us to your area and talk to us about all the wonderful things your town has to offer—best local restaurants, local parks, local events, and favorite day trips,” Thoennes says. “We want to feel like it is our community, too!”
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To learn more about Shaw Spouses’ Club and how it is supporting South Carolina’s military families, visit shawspousesclub.com.