Mike Couick
Go to any hospital cafeteria and you will spot them. They usually sit by themselves. Crow’s feet, etched by lack of sleep, web out from their eyes. Worry lines furrow their foreheads. They slowly sip cups of coffee or soft drinks. They invariably try to work the worry out of their stiff necks.
Who are they? Parents of sick children or children of sick parents seeking a 15-minute recharge of their physical, emotional and spiritual batteries before they return to being a caregiver in a bleak, small hospital room. Oftentimes, a friend’s visit is their only opportunity to clear their minds or stretch their legs. Just enough “time off” to keep them going. Or, is it?
Caregivers are not only meeting the physical needs of ailing loved ones, but their emotional needs as well. They listen and provide support while also feeding, cleaning and tending to medical issues. It’s a commitment to family that requires pouring oneself out daily.
While the love and compassion needed for this kind of work may be abundant, the physical and emotional stamina required often pushes caregivers to the brink of exhaustion. Too much time without coming up for air can lead to burnout, depression and health problems.
The work of caregivers is critically important—not just to their loved ones, but in ways that alter the fabric of our communities as well. According to a study by AARP, 40 million family caregivers provide 37 billion hours of care for parents, spouses, partners and other adult loved ones each year. If you could put a price tag on it, this volunteer labor is worth an estimated $470 billion annually.
Father Guerric Heckel of Mepkin Abbey understands firsthand the needs of caregivers. Throughout his 50 years in the priesthood, he has served many roles, including infirmarian, caring for sick and elderly monks. He has a broad range of experience that includes hospital chaplaincy, and he serves as the director of the St. Francis Retreat Center and the Contemplative Aging Institute.
Located on the Cooper River in Berkeley County, just outside Moncks Corner, Mepkin Abbey was established in 1949 as part of a global network of Trappist monasteries that serve their communities by providing places of prayer, learning and hospitality. For visitors, time at the monastery is a rare and refreshing experience. The beauty of the property, with its ancient oaks hung with Spanish moss and its uniquely quiet and peaceful atmosphere, allows for rest and restoration like few places in our busy modern lives.
The abbey’s retreat center allows the monks to extend hospitality to anyone who needs it. And for a caregiver who spends every day tending to the needs of others, even a brief time at the abbey is life-giving.
This past fall, Father Guerric and a team of dedicated facilitators organized a retreat designed especially for caregivers. The team, which included experts from the fields of medicine, end-of-life care, meditation and mindfulness, carefully planned the retreat to nourish and refresh those caregiving shepherds who spend their days tending to others. The retreat guests came from all walks of life, caring for loved ones of all ages and stages. Many hadn’t taken an overnight break in years, and each one of them needed rest and restoration. The retreat not only provided them with that necessary respite, it also renewed their commitment to continue in their roles as caregivers while under-standing the need to care for themselves as well.
Retreat guests discovered the value of taking even a brief time away from the demands of caregiving. They were reminded to carve out time for activities they enjoy, like reading, gardening or just taking a walk—and that taking time to recharge and reconnect ultimately allows them to care more effectively for their loved ones.
Father Guerric and the team have more care-givers’ retreats planned for 2018. For more information, visit bookwhen.com/mepkinabbey, or call the retreat center at (843) 761-8509.